Too Busy to be a Friend

Too Busy to be a Friend

Why do I always try to be friends with people that are too busy to be a friend? Is it that they are too busy or am I too busy? I do have some friends but not many. Most of them are my friends because they were my husband’s first. I am not the socialite that has to have lots of people around me all the time but, I do get lonely sometimes for a close friend. I look around and see people that are friends and hear them talk and even sometimes get jealous. I wonder am I not “close friend material?” Maybe. I think mostly it is just that we all are too busy to foster the relationship. We spend our entire time on our kids and our jobs that we never become really close with anyone other than our family. What happens when our kids are out of school and move on or we retire? What will the empty nest feel like? Will we have spent so much time on our kid’s lives and jobs that we have no life? I’m not saying that we should not spend time with our children or not have a carrier I’m just saying there should be some type of balance. I read an article in NewsWeek that said divorce rate among people that have been married 20-40 yrs is on the increase. My first thought is, my gosh, after that much time together have they not worked out all the problems. Then I thought who in the world would want to start over at that point? Now I wonder why? Well, I have been thinking about that why. What happens when we are so busy with our kids lives and our carriers that that is all we do? We foster a relationship with our kids and do not work on our relationship with our friends or our husbands. Now, no one is complaining the husband and the wife agree on the way they raise their children, no worries. Then when the children get older and move on the husband and wife are left in the house, alone. They are sitting in their recliners looking at each other thinking I don’t know this person; we don’t even have the same interests now that our kids are gone. This kinda morphed into divorce (that is a whole different jenny ism) but, I guess it is the principle. We get so busy and don’t create time for the other people in our lives that we lose them. A good friend is just as important as a husband. What if these empty nesters had a good friend to talk to; to help them get through the empty nest stage? Would it help? I think it would. Well, if we do not keep our friends along the way we will not have that option. Your relationship with your friends is just like your relationship with your spouse and children, you will get out of it what you put into it. There is a saying that a good friend will always be there for you. Is this true? To a point yes but, if you have put that friendship on a shelf can you really expect it to be good later?

Pray the mountain is not yours to climb.

As I read 2 Chronicles 20 I was amazed at the faith King Jehoshaphat had in God……..
2 Chronicles 20:2, 6, 14-15, 18, 20, 22-23
2 Messengers came and told Jehoshaphat, "A vast army from Edom is marching against you from beyond the Dead Sea. They are already at Hazazon-tamar." (This was another name for En-gedi.)

Can you imagine how King Jehoshaphat felt? He has just been told this huge army is marching against him and he knows he does not have the resources to beat them. Do you ever feel you have an army marching towards you? What does your enemy’s army look like? It might be bills, a deadline at work, or a relationship that needs help. You can relate to what King Jehoshaphat was going through, the anxiety and pressure knowing that if you do not defeat your “enemy’s army” it can affect the people you care for. So what did King Jehoshaphat do?

6 He prayed, "O LORD, God of our ancestors, you alone are the God who is in heaven. You are ruler of all the kingdoms of the earth. You are powerful and mighty; no one can stand against you!

Yep, that’s right he prayed. He did not gripe or complain.

14 the Spirit of the LORD came upon one of the men standing there. His name was Jahaziel son of Zechariah, son of Benaiah, son of Jeiel, son of Mattaniah, a Levite who was a descendant of Asaph. 15 He said, "Listen, King Jehoshaphat! Listen, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says: Do not be afraid! Don't be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God's.

Through Jahaziel God told King Jehoshaphat and his people the battle is not yours, but God’s. God wants you to know you are not alone and through him all battles can be won.

18 Then King Jehoshaphat bowed down with his face to the ground. And all the people of Judah and Jerusalem did the same, worshiping the LORD.
20 Early the next morning the army of Judah went out into the wilderness of Tekoa. On the way Jehoshaphat stopped and said, "Listen to me, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! Believe in the LORD your God, and you will be able to stand firm. Believe in his prophets, and you will succeed."

Amazing! They have an army size problem pressing down on them and what do they do, they march out into the wilderness. How do they do it? God said don’t be afraid or discouraged for the battle is not yours. The key is they believe in him and guess what he came through. It is funny after a "battle" sometimes we are amazed and think wow God did it, like we had doubt. What a let down that must be for God.

22 At the moment they began to sing and give praise, the LORD caused the armies of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir to start fighting among themselves. 23The armies of Moab and Ammon turned against their allies from Mount Seir and killed every one of them. After they had finished off the army of Seir, they turned on each other.

God fought their battle and God won the battle.
……. As I finished reading I was ashamed at how little faith I sometimes put in God. Have faith in God believe in him and let him fight because the battle is his.

The Importance of Scrapbooking

Brian took the girls and went the Christmas outreach at the Bridge; a place our church helps serve food to the needy. I did not get to go because I was working. So, when I saw the pictures of the Christmas outreach at the Bridge, I immediately started looking through them to see if I could spot my family. I found one picture of Katy my youngest with her back turned. But, what I did see were all the happy and smiling faces of the people being served. It got me to thinking how can I re-enforce this lesson to my children. Brian said he had some conversations with the girls afterwards about what it means to be homeless or hungry. These were good conversations Brian had but, I wanted it to go further. I did not want this to be a good memory of us “helping once at Christmas.” Realistically I know that these opportunities do not happen for us often. The kids are in school, I work full time and have a part time job at the church, Brian has a fulltime (plus some) job at the church and part time job in the summer. That does not leave much time for our kids to help and most of the time this event is during school hours. So how do I get the most out of this learning experience? Well I thought they need to re-live it through pictures, I mean we don’t get to do this very often. (Yes I know we should make time in our 36 hour days but that is another blog)
Which brings me to my point, Why is scrapbooking so important? Well Dr. Kenneth Condrell www.drcondrell.com, nationally known child psychologist, family counselor and author says, “In my experience, when parents spend fun and loving time with their children, the children feel valued, desired and special. These feelings pump up a child’s self-esteem. And sharing family photos of special times together is one of the best ways I know to do that.”
A geeky stat from my college days:
Statistics show the retention percentage through sensory perceptions:
11% is retained by hearing only
30% is retained by seeing only
50% is retained by seeing and hearing
70% is retained by seeing, hearing and doing
90% is retained by seeing, hearing, verbalizing and doing.
So, when we get to experience (doing) these life lessons document them in pictures! Then go back and look (seeing) at the pictures talk (hearing) about them to your children. Let your children tell (verbalizing) you what is happening in the pictures. This does not even take into account the benefits of touch, time and bonding. Your child sitting in your lap your, arms around them talking and sharing how you both feel about what they/you did. Just think how much more you and your children will learn from a couple hours serving food.

The Things I Love

My Husband



andthe way his hands move on the neck of his guitar.

My Girls: So sweet!

For my non-Face Bookers ---Dad and Kim.

Well it all started with the phrase, "maybe we should go ahead and put the house up for sale, it might take awhile?" The next day Brian posted it on Craig's List and 4hrs later it was sold!Then we got busy! We started packing and packing and packing, well mostly throwing things away. We had more junk than anything else. The kind of stuff that was not worth storing. We had a garage sale and sold Katy's, hand me down furniture and my bed room furniture that I got when we moved to the house on Country Cub I think I was in 5th or 6th grade. It had more glue than wood on it. We now have no house and our "lawyer" is advising us to get out asap because it is storm season and we need it to be in the buyers possession. So to get out we have to move the fence, move half the carport, the shrubs, take the front porch off, take the roof off the back porch, take off the skirting, move the flagstone walk, put up a temporary fence for the dogs...OH! and paint my purple room. And move out!

I packed two weeks of clothes in the camper and the rest of our clothes in plastic tubs. Then my friends came over and helped me pack up the rest of the house on Monday and Tuesday. We put all our stuff in our Morgan storage building and the girls playhouse that we boarded the windows on. Brian's friends were coming over on Thursday to move out the furniture. Wednesday night it started raining and it was still raining on Thursday so Brian rescheduled his group for Saturday. They were coming to get the house on Monday. Monday came and it was still raining I don't remember how long it rained but we got about 6 inches! The lawyer was right the roof started leaking! Sixteen years in that house with no leaks and the minute we sell we get a leak, the house was probably mad at us. So, after the rain stopped they said it would be at least a week before it is dry enough to move the house out, eek! While we were watching the dirt dry and living in our bachelor pad, Brian cleaned out the gutters and patched the roof. At this point we have two weeks of clothes, 4 towels, 4 plates, 4 bowls, 4 forks, 4 spoons, 4 cups, 1 knife, 2 pots and a frying pan and our big furniture. Because the women, efficient as they are, now have everything packed and put away. Also, during the monsoon, we decided to go look at other houses just to make sure this was the one we wanted and there was not one that would be OK for a better price. There was not one that even compares, because we took the floor model, which means we take the color it is and no options we did not want the options anyway. During our hunt we learned from another dealer the we qualify for the government rebate which is $6500. Hmm that got us to thinking we were planning to wait and buy in Sept when we pay off the studio and Katy starts school, that would be our house payment. If we get that rebate we would not have to finance the concrete, dirt, fence repair and skirting gasp! We could pay cash! With the floor model already SEVERAL thousand off the sticker price and we had talked the salesman down a few. We can buy that house now. One problem we had 10 days to sign the contract. Now we are scrambling again banks, loan officers, lawyers, notary, tax accountant. AAUGH! We got it done and qualified for the rebate, the check is in the mail ha.

Well, during the monsoon Mozey bought a shed for her "stuff" she graciously let us use it until we got our new house. When it finally dried out enough for us to move the trailer Brian got his guys back over to help get the big stuff out and we moved in to the camper. It has not been to bad we have a nice temporary front porch.

They finally came to get the old house and we watched it roll away. And had a little fun!

Now we really have no house and are living in the camper, we did set our TV up in the studio and put our clothes in there we have a small love seat and and a reclining lawn chair in there.

The next thing is to get our site ready for the new house. We have to finish taking down the carport, cut down the mulberry tree and and a bradford pear, move the neighbors fence, and now move the fence on the west side of the house. Good Gravy just how big is this house? We also have to get the electric company out to replace our transformer, we are going from a 100amp to a 200amp, cap off the septic line, dig up the septic thank and find the clean out, dig up the water line, get a cliche pad and drill and pour concrete piers. Whew! The girls and I helped by picking up the little pieces of concrete/side walk and putting them in the ditch the dumpster truck has been making. I also "let" the girls smash the bigger pieces of side walk with a hammer. Mozey and Boone(her boyfriend) helped us cut the tree down.

Boone's Boys came to help us with the concrete. It is amazing how much help you can get for a 30 pack of Bud Light.
Of course the girls wrote their names and made hand prints in the wet concrete.

Brian then had to dig the water lines and put in the new water line, another friend had a ditch digger and came to help. Brian went all out he put in three underground, outside faucets. No more crawling under the house to turn off the outside water, in the dark, after we see the freeze warning on the 10 o'clock news. Yea! Now Brian has about 12 hrs of down time :) and thinks he will start looking for the septic tank so he starts digging and would you know three shovels and he hits the clean out! What the heck? We stand there and look at it for about an hour thinking this can not be it, it was too easy, we have to dig up the whole yard that is just the way we do things. But, no, that was it we even had a friend come look at it and he said, "yep, that's a clean out". So, we go to bed that night staring in to space just saying WOW!

Apparently, through this, we have been ignoring our kids because I came out and found Katy running around in the back yard naked. Really, the kids have been pretty good they have had fun playing on the dirt and machines and have really enjoyed "camping".

Now, this week we got the new house! I came home from work and there it sat, in two pieces and on wheels but there none the less. They will put it together Thursday and finish it out Friday and Saturday maybe Monday. I hope we get to move in next week.

The House

This is the house we have picked out. We have not signed the contract yet so there is a chance still we may not get this one. I hope so because it will be a long wait if we have to order it.

Why is it the days I need to get up early I can not sleep? Tomorrow is Easter, in Ministry that is the Super bowl of Sundays and here it is 1:30 am and I can not shut my eyes!